I cried many times today as I thought of little Aylan losing his life in the Aegean Sea. I could hardly contain myself as I read the words of his father on how he tried to save them. Truthfully, I wished I was alone while I read so I could weep and pray for him unashamedly. Ann Voskamp stirred my heart with her words as she so often does. Please read her post.
What do we do? How can we move forward when it has been documented that Planned Parenthood is selling body parts of aborted humans? What does sleep look like when I close my eyes and see Aylan face down in the sand? What can we do to help the droves and droves of people being pushed out of their land by the vile and abhorrent ISIS? How can we walk around knowing children are continually sold and used for sex over and over and over? What do we do in our own country when black people and police officers are being gunned down almost daily and peace seems impossible?
I'm at a loss. My heart aches.
I've been teased that I'm a woman with a cause whether there is a cause or not. But, when I look around there is cause after cause after cause after cause after cause after cause...
The above list doesn't even include what is happening in the lives around me. Abused kids, women struggling to find worth, men full of shame and self-loathing, people isolating themselves, people oversharing in ways promoting potential harm they can't yet see.
Last week during musical worship, my dear friend led us to "sing out to God whatever is on your heart." The only thing that surfaced was a giant lump in my throat. All I could think is, "I only know a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the pain in this world, but you know it all. How can you bear it, God?"
And today, I'm struggling. Why doesn't he come back? What is making him wait?
My faith shakes sometimes.
It's hard for me to believe while the world burns around me. But one thing age affords me is the ability to choose to press into Jesus even when I don't feel like it.
Even when my faith shakes, I choose to lift my hands high in surrender and worship.
Even when my faith shakes, I continue to beg him to hasten his return.
Even when my faith shakes, I go to my knees to groan for the relief of my fellow humans.
Even when my faith shakes, and I want to tuck and run, I stand my ground. And after I've done everything my small, finite self knows to do, I stand. (Ephesians 6:10-17)
And for the record, my life banner bears the name of Jesus. That probably surprises exactly no one.
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Do you struggle with the world around you? What do you do when you feel the weight of it all? What do you do when your faith shakes? What do you do to stand? If you are still memorizing scripture with us, feel free to post your verses here. I will be focusing on passages that I've memorized that speak of hope, faith, and soul rest.
May God move us to active compassion and prayer!
3 important comments so far. What are your thoughts?
Gosh I'm right there with you friend. I'm not a huge crier and as I was sitting on my couch today, all I could do was cry in anguish over the vision of sweet Aylan washed up on shore..over Lauren's post in moxie about the sweet cherub in critical condition due to awful circumstances..Over the numerous stories of absolute mayhem and war going on around the world. I feel so helpless. Overwhelmed by where to donate and contribute. All I could do today was cry and pray and cry and pray some more...and even so, he is good. And faithful. And sovereign. And ALL loving...but dear Jesus, come back soon
There is the line in It Is Well by Bethel that says, "So let go my soul and trust in Him, the waves and wind still know His name." I can cry and cry to that line because I believe the waves and wind still know His name, but why does it seem like little else does? He is still in control of this chaotic world. I'm thankful for voices like yours and Ann's that help us lean into the hard things around us and not gloss over them in our own comfort. May we continue to be burdened for this lost and hurting world and pray.
Usually don't comment on blogs but today you touched a nerve. I live next door to a refuge center and to be honest I just ignore it, how do you help 1000's of people in such desperate states. I'm a total news junkie - would be eaiser if I was a sports junkie but I'm not, for the most part stopped reading the Huff post, too overwhelming at times.
Rob
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