Out of the Trench

Do you ever have times when you just can't shake the negative thoughts, the sadness and tiredness, and/or the wet blanket of shame?

A week or so ago I woke up weary, emotional, and wiped out. My eyes were puffy and my brain was on hyperdrive. Sometimes I wallow in the despair (eating the bread of anxious toil) and sometimes I remember what to do to reorient myself to Jesus. Maybe the words I'm about to share will help you try something new when you find yourself in a muddy trench.

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I stumbled out of bed and made my way to my kitchen table and sat down, Bible, notebook, and pen in hand. Sitting in the solid wooden chair made me more aware of my need for God to soften my heavy heart. Holding out my hands I prayed: "I'm feeling pretty beat up today and believing some lies that I'm not worth much. So let's find some Scripture. Will you help me, Jesus? I'm struggling."

Turning to as many familiar passages as came to mind, I began to write:

Ephesians 1
vs 4 - He chose me
vs 7 - I am redeemed and forgiven
vs 8 - He gives me wisdom and insight
vs 13 - I am sealed with the Holy Spirit

Ephesians 3
vs 16 - He will strengthen me with power in my inner being
vs 19 - He loves me so much it surpasses knowledge

Ephesians 4
vs 11 - He gave me to Second Mile (a prophet, teacher, and shepherd) to equip the saints for ministry, to build up our body

Ephesians 5
vs 8 - I walk in the light of the Lord

Ephesians 6
vs 10 - I am strong in the Lord
vs 12 - I am wrestling against spiritual forces

1 John 1
vs 5 - He is light so I am in the light which removes all darkness and confusion

1 John 2
vs 1 - He is my advocate. (He advocates for ME!)

My necessary and simple tools

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There are 5 other chapters of Scripture I utilized that I didn't share with you, but hopefully you get the picture through this sampling of what I covered that morning. (Many things God speaks to us through his Word are just for us and not meant to be shared with the world. Intimacy and privacy in relationships are so important in our media frenzied culture. But that's for a different blog post.)

Sitting at the table for over an hour with the balm of the Holy Spirit speaking through Scripture is exactly what I needed... not a pep talk from a friend, not a book by my favorite author, certainly not the distraction of social media or housework or errands, not putting on a 'brave' face and pretending everything was ok, and not even my favorite worship playlist. Getting up early enough to have uninterrupted time provided the needed space for needed heart change. To be sure, I felt raw and sore throughout the day (and maybe even a few days), but nothing else could root out the lies like time abiding with Jesus in Scripture (John 15:7-11).

God revealed and reminded me of his truth that morning. Then I faced the choice to take hold and believe it or fall back into the muddy trench. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit enabled me to repeat these passages to myself over and over until they began to transform my thoughts. Hard work to be sure, but the payoff far exceeded the effort. Many of you see me as a woman of strength for which I'm humbled and thankful, and you've heard me say it a million times and I'll say it a million more while I still have breath: God, through his holy, perfect Word, has changed my heart a million times over. I pour through the pages and flip through my memory packet like my life depends on it because it does.

Do you believe me? Have you experienced the transformation he brings through it? Have you only dabbled with a plastic spoon or have you dug deep with a pick ax? How much time do you spend? Do you expect overnight expertise or are you up for the task of life-long study?

What passage can you turn to today that will speak truth to your heart of his glory and your worth in him?

You know I love the sky because of Psalm 19. If you want to hear me teach about this passage click here.